How you can help a woman with an unexpected pregnancy or a single mom.
On a Personal Level:
- Smile at them. If you see a woman who is pregnant in general, smile at them and even ask them how they’re doing. As a pregnant teen, the looks in public were some of the hardest to swallow. Any eyebrow raise, look up and down really made my stomach turn and millions of questions would run through my head. Please be careful… well, with your face. Smile, ask how they’re doing. Being noticed and appreciated as a human counts for a lot.
- Give walmart/ target giftcards or gas cards. Groceries and gas are necessities.
- Offer to fill up their gas tank, or demand it. “Hey, let me get that for you.” “Meet me at the gas station so I can fill up your tank!”
- Offer to pay a bill (or 2). If that may seem awkward for you or mom, do the hard work and find the electricity company, water company, rent office and put money down. It’d be like a Christmas miracle.
- If in school, offer to help with tuition. Yes, many moms can receive grants, but it’s only for a specific amount of hours. If they’re trying to finish quickly and get that job, they’ll need extra help.
- Offer free babysitting assistance for work, school, or free time. But like, demand it, because 9 times out of 10, they don’t want to take the offer.
- Ask for a picture of her grocery list or some items she may need. Deliver them or get them delivered to her door when the time is best for her. Paid and delivered, whew!
- Buy or cook her dinner. Bring it to her house, take it to her work or have it delivered. Just ask what night is best, no exceptions!
- I once had a teacher of Evelie’s slip a bag in my car at Evelie’s carline, full of all the ingredients for a quick meal. I cried the whole way home.
- A dear friend, a woman in our church, once overheard me talking about my piled-to-the-Heavens dishes because I didn’t have a dishwasher and I was working multiple jobs and in school, she showed up the next day with bulk amounts of paper plates, plastic utensils and plastic cups. “I can’t help you with your dishes, but I can make sure you don’t have any for a while.”
- If they’ll let you, go to their house and wash their dishes, do their laundry, clean the house. Do it all. Even better if you just say “leave a key under the mat while you’re gone.” I had a few of those that I’ll never forget.
- Buy clothes for her and the child/children, give hand-me-downs (Evelie has lived and thrived off those), help decorate her home, hobby lobby shopping is where that’s at. I just really wanted me and Evey’s house to feel like a home.
- Invite her to church and lunch afterwards. You pay of course, she ain’t got no extra money.
On a Community Level:
- Find your local Crisis Pregnancy Center and CALL to see how you can help. You can volunteer your time, help raise money through their many yearly functions, donate your money, donate items they need for mommas and moms to be, write cards to moms who have visited the center, etc.
- Find a pregnancy or young mom group to volunteer with whether in a church or in the community. We have local church groups that have classes, throw baby showers, and community baby showers as well, be a part.
- Use your talents! Make baby clothes, knit baby blankets for new moms, fix momma’s car for free or with a large discount, offer free photography sessions and prints for momma and baby/children, free haircut and maybe throw in some highlights to make her feel fancy, manicures and pedicures cause Lord knows she would love that. Use what God has given you to give to others who need it.
Your goal is to help carry the weight. That’s it. The weight is heavy, emotionally, mentally, physically and financially. Help carry it. I had many amazing people help me carry the weights that I drug with me for so many years. Be them. This momma you are caring for, praying for, or working with now may not know who Jesus is, but she should know what He must be like through you.
And remember, the devil doesn’t want you bad, he wants you busy. So please, don’t be too busy with your time to help. Balance your donations both with your hands and feet and with your wallet. Do what you can, and please care more about momma’s heart than anything else, because you can’t save the baby if you don’t save the momma first.
Reach Just One.