After seeing so much, why do we still doubt God?
After knowing our own pasts and how God’s fingertips are all over them, why do we limit His abilities?
Why don’t we truly believe in the God of impossible things?
I often find myself in seasons of feeling as though God is saying, “why do you doubt me?”
The past season has been quite the rough one, and although I have held tight to my faith – not doubting necessarily, I still missed the mark.
Almost 2 years of not being able to conceive a child with my husband, I finally had a procedure done that diagnosed the problem. I was not prepared at all for what the x-ray revealed or the words that my doctor spoke. A hysterosalpingography, google it and try to say it three times fast, was performed that revealed two blocked fallopian tubes inside of my body, the left tube, however, had a slight opening. Now, if you know anything about creating a new life, the tubes are quite important as they are the only path for the egg, at least one tube is needed.
It just wasn’t at all what I expected. I take care of my body. I eat well, exercise – I’m a dance teacher for heaven’s sake. How can my body do this to me? What causes this? How do we fix this? Tears streamed uncontrollably down my face as I laid on the x-ray table, my husband’s hand in mine. The doctor seemed hopeful, “there are other options” were not the words I had hoped to hear at all.
A few days later, I was speaking with a close friend of mine who has bruised knees of prayer for me at this point. I was telling her about the situation, and that we know God can perform a miracle and can use that tiny little hole to get an egg through!
She looked at me with the most excited yet stern face, “Sarah, God makes holes. He unblocks, moves what needs to be moved.”
It was at that moment I knew that my prayers were keeping God in a box. I had been so hopeful for a miracle with that tiny hole, that one glimpse of hope. Like the light at the end of the tunnel, it’s tiny but can be reached… when all along I serve a God who breaks down walls and parts seas, and opens anything that needs to be open with one command.
A few weeks later I was in a Bible study that brought me to Mark 16:1-6. Although the main focus of this particular study was to notice the early morning rising of the women, I noticed something else…
16 “When the Sabbath was past, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him.2 And very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, they went to the tomb. 3 And they were saying to one another, “Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance of the tomb?” 4 And looking up, they saw that the stone had been rolled back—it was very large. 5 And entering the tomb, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, dressed in a white robe, and they were alarmed. 6 And he said to them, “Do not be alarmed. You seek Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has risen; he is not here. See the place where they laid him.“ ESV
First of all, at what point, after the women have prepared the spices, woken up at the crack of dawn, got dressed and ready and made their journey to the tomb… did they think, “hey, how are we going to move the stone?” I personally just feel like we should have thought about that prior, like that would have been my first thought, right? Or I’d be hollering at the other Mary asking why she didn’t think of that before we went to all this trouble.
Oh, but God, His goodness and miraculous work. The women didn’t think of the miracle they needed first and allow that to deter them from what they were called to do.
I’m going to say that again, they did not allow the need of the miracle to deter them from doing their part.
The women prepared beforehand, bought and collected the spices, packed them tightly and safely for the trip. They woke up early in the morning, left their homes for the journey as the sun was lighting up the surfaces of the earth. They wrangled their emotions, their grief, their anger, anything they felt, to do what needed to be done. It’s only on their way did they question how they could actually perform the task asked of them, a task they knew they could not do on their own. The best part? The part I want you to get… is that when they got there, after doing their part… God had already done His. The stone was already moved. That’s it… the stone was already moved. And the actual best part – plot twist – God provides more than we could ever ask for or imagine. Their dead Savior and friend that they came to mourn over and cover in spices for his burial, wasn’t even there. Sis, He was alive.
So why do we put our God in a box? Why are our prayers so limited?
Why was I praying that God would use that one small hole when He can open an entire tube?
Since then I decided to start doing my part, to prepare my body for the miracle God ALREADY has for me. I just have to get there.
Questions to ask yourself:
What are you praying for right now?
What kind of box are you putting God in or limitations are you giving him without even realizing it?
Are you doing your part? Are you preparing yourself for the miracle God has for you?
Do you have faith that He can and will?