Our culture is consumed in showing our lives; from out-of-town vacations to Netflix binging on the couch, to foods we’re eating and drinks we’re drinking, family pics and simple selfies, filter or no filter.
We live for a “like”.
But what happens when we don’t get a lot of likes?
Or what happens when the comments seem bare?
Or worse, what if somebody texts you or calls you about what you posted, asking questions with a not-so-great intent in their voice. Maybe they’re excited, maybe they’re disappointed, who knows, but any tone of voice can send one’s thoughts spiraling.
I know that’s true, especially for me.
I didn’t post a single picture or post of my (now) husband on social media until the night we got engaged.
And it was the best decision I ever made.
We’re vulnerable, I’m vulnerable. And it’s okay to admit that. The thoughts of what others will think will get into your head without you realizing it. The questions other people ask or comments they say could send you spiraling into questioning yourself and your prayers.
Dating is hard enough in our culture today; I personally felt no need to advertise it until a wedding was being planned, and you don’t have to either. I was dating a man who understood that well. So, if you didn’t go to the Mexican restaurant down the road every Friday night, or the 10:30am service at our church on Sundays, you probably didn’t know we were dating, and here’s why I would recommend that…
1. Dating someone is special. You are potentially planning to spend your life together, get to know each other well and enjoy the moments. You don’t need others approval if the pic is cute or your outfits match. (Boast only in the Lord, sis)
2. People’s opinions or even lack of opinions can make your thoughts spiral. For me, I felt like people had so many expectations on me and who I was going to choose to be my daughter’s father. But the only expectation needed is that he loves Jesus and serves us well. (Don’t be unequally yoked)
3. It made personal interactions with others much more fun. Talking in person is always best and seeing other people in public who are excited to see the two of you together, is much more exciting than a “like” number on social media. (Besides, where 2 or 3 gather in His name, He is there)
4. Hard to swallow, but it takes the pressure off if he’s not the one. I’ve been there, I’ve done the back track deleting too. This guy was (and still is) pretty special to me, posting our relationship on Facebook could have made our friendship trivial if the relationship didn’t work. We kind of had already been through that type of thing years prior. (As James says, we all stumble in many ways…)
5. Lastly, it’s your life. Please don’t forget that. Other people don’t have to see it, other people don’t have to talk about it. You are held to no account to post anything you may not want to. Talk with your boyfriend about it, I did. Social media was a quick way of twisting and tangling things, it can evoke emotions and bring up pasts, we just never know. Marriage is a pact and covenant, it’s sacred – so prepare for it cautiously. (You’re becoming one flesh… not one flesh and bunch of approvals)
Remember and take to heart…
4 Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7