I cried at work today.
I cried at work today, because I allowed the devil to make me feel insecure.
Sometimes it’s real easy for him to do that, especially if we don’t know how our heavenly Father sees us and how much Jesus Christ truly values us.
It’s complicated sometimes, the earthly things he’ll use. Most of the time insecurities come from compare and doubt. Mine sure did today.
I’m usually pretty good at it these days, feelin’ like I have most of my life together. Figuring out my bills, my to-do lists, my adulty things. Adulting is hard. Adulting as a single mom…. Bout near feels impossible.
We didn’t really have time to figure out what adulting is, we just had to jump in and hope for the best.
Today was an adulting insecurity that got the best of me.
I had a pretty busy morning at work. I don’t believe in saying “stressful,” because the cause of stress is 10 times out of 10 due to lack of preparation. And I was totally prepared.
But I wasn’t prepared to get called in to speak with an insurance salesman about my options as a human, a sick individual, an optical struggler, a dental struggler, a possible cancer patient, or suddenly dying and leaving my child with my debt and no hope for a future.
It’s tough trying to make future decisions when you just hope you have enough money to pay rent at the beginning of the month because last month had an extra Friday and therefore you went over your Icee Friday budget. True story.
The devil loves these situations, “Gosh that’s a lot of questions…,” “You really have no idea what’s going to happen in the future Sarah,” “Man, you can’t afford that… how are you even going to raise your child?” “You’re definitely not qualified to answer these questions, are you even qualified to raise a child?” “You have no spouse Sarah, nor a dad, you have no one to help you with these answers.” “Sarah… you’re pathetic.”
I became overwhelmed and my eyes became full of water.
After some deep breaths, I asked God to remind me who I am.
I have to admit, I didn’t remember who I am in Him first. But He did remind me that I love Icees, have yet to take a lunch break, and someone gave me a few extra bucks yesterday and said, “Here use this for an Icee.”
I quickly got in my car, headed straight to my favorite Icee stop, and blared my Jesus jams.
I know who I am. I am qualified, I am chosen, I am blameless in my Father’s eyes. There is no amount of earthly decisions that the devil can use to deter me from that, nor any amount of insecurities or fear that can make me question my Father’s faithfulness.
He’s quick… he’s quick and he’s sneaky. The devil can find anything to make you feel insecure. So be careful, remember who you are in Christ and the promises God provides us with every. single. day. Then go get you an Icee.
“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and grief to bear
And what a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer
Oh, what peace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged
Take it to the Lord in prayer
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness
Take it to the Lord in prayer
