Hey girl,
I hope you’re doing well.
I wanted to talk to you about relationships. I can’t say that I’m an expert, but I can say I’ve experienced a lot. It’s like the, “I may not can tell you what you should do, but I can definitely tell you what you should NOT do” type of thing. I’ve always found it hard to take dating advice or encouragement from married women. All too often I’ve thought, “yeah, okay, easy for you to say, you found your prince charming!” It’s pretty easy to have those feelings of hopelessness. So I hope that through me, a young single woman, you can find encouragement in knowing that not all hope is lost. My hope is not lost, I may be broken at times, but I am certainly not lost.
It’s hard when you feel “left.” You thought things were going great, you were excited, you enjoyed his company, everything about him, but suddenly he didn’t feel the same. I’ve found myself in this position a good hand full of times, probably two hand fulls. It hurts. It’s confusing. It’ll break your soul.
I’ve found myself here recently. I hate admitting that, but it’s true. And some times are easier than others to move on, but most times, you feel stuck. Feelings are dumb like that.
I saw it coming. I saw the snap chats, the facebook posts, but I didn’t prepare myself for him to bring her to church. You know him.. the one who left. The one who basically “ghosted” you with no reason why. The one who you thought you could spend your life with… but suddenly you don’t even talk anymore. You wonder why all too often. “What’s wrong with me? Did I get boring? Is it because I’m too busy? Is it because I’m a mom?…” Then we redirect the problem… “Well, he doesn’t have a good enough job anyway. I don’t think he would have been loyal and committed. I didn’t like that he…” you fill in the blanks.
It’s so true. We do it so often. We dissect everything we can to come up with a good reason why it didn’t work out. Or a good reason why it shouldn’t work out anyway.
I sat down in church, happy and ready to worship, when my eyes shot straight to him and his new girlfriend. It felt like a dull dagger. “What? How can he just start dating someone so fast? He never even gave me a reason why he left me…” All the thoughts clouded my mind. I started blaming myself for who I am, or what I do or don’t have. Then I directed it straight to him so negatively about what he does or doesn’t have. Any reason I could think of to make myself feel better. Because that’s what we do.
My first thought to God was, “Really God, at church? Why would you let this happen? You knew it would sting.”
Thankfully, through my walk with Christ, I’ve learned to stop asking questions and thinking my fleshly thoughts, so I asked God to take captive all my thoughts and only fill my head with his truths, especially about the situation.
Ever so lovingly I heard God say, “because that relationship is not what will bring me the most glory.”
I heard those words and closed my eyes. He’s right. It’s true.
Sister, incase you didn’t know… Our life here on earth isn’t to have our fleshly desires. It isn’t to be emotionally happy all the time, despite what the world tells you.
Our life has been granted by God for one purpose and one purpose ONLY… to bring Him the glory.
All the stories of the bible, all the stories of Christianity… They’re not about materialistic things and how happy we can be in life or with someone, they’re about how much glory is given to God. And we should live as such.
I know this may not be the answer you want in a letter to you who are broken and confused. I know this definitely isn’t the Cosmopolitan answer or match your horoscope for the month, but God didn’t send me here to make you happy, He sent me to speak His truth, and all His truth brings Him glory. Because He deserves it all.
I’m sorry you hurt. I’m sorry you feel left. But you’re not just left, nothing is wrong with you… and nothing is really wrong with him either… the relationship just simply is not the one that will bring God all the glory he deserves.
I hope you find peace in that. Because once you can confidently know and understand that, healing will be much easier… and then you can continue with the hope God gives you in knowing that His plan is much bigger than you can ever dream of, and the man he has waiting for you… it will bring the most blessings into your life… and therefore, bring God all the glory.
I love you sister… I know how it feels… I only hope you keep the faith, and keep the hope.. and give the glory to whom it belongs.
Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” John 13:7
“everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made.” Isaiah 43:7
“Rise and Shine and give God the glory…”
